Sputum thicker than a rubber tire
Green snot dripping from a nose
These are things that we’ve come to admire
In the profession that we chose

Everybody knows how quickly nurses turn and go
When a goober’s in mid-flight
They will say that they just do not know
How we can do it day and night

It always seems to be that way
Other departments wonder how we spend our day
They always look at us with great big eyes
And say that sputum’s the one thing they despise

 And so by now we’re sure you’re wondering
What all of this is leading to
The point of it is we believe as a group
Better sputum
Than poop

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